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Will ask follow-up questions and occasionally say 'mmhm' to signal understanding.
Co-founded a software company with his mates and intends to eventually be on a first-name basis with Mark.
Will hit any and all dancefloors including the kitchen, no alcohol needed.
We both know that spotify blend completely lies about your taste so let's make a playlist together instead.
Can confirm that the abyss gazes back.
Real reviews from real humans who have tolerated Jesse in various capacities.
"Very funny guy, fun to hang with and somebody you can always lean on for emotional support."
— Karry, friend
"You're going to put this on a public website? That is so fucked. Random girl reading this: run while you can (jks he's not that bad, may as well swipe right and see what happens)"
— Sian, friend
An purely objective comparison.
| Feature | Random Hinge Guy | Jesse |
|---|---|---|
| Remembers your coffee order | Unlikely | By date three |
| Emotional range | 'Fine, I'm fine' | Cries watching Top Gun: Maverick |
| Plants owned that are still alive | 0 | 1 |
| Post-movie discussion | 'I didn't really get it' | Multi-hour talk/debate |
| Height | 5'9" | 6'0" |
| Built you a website | No | Yes |
Only one way to find out 💬
Can't eat gluten but you get to laugh as he tries and fails to explain what gluten free means on the phone to a Chinese restaurant.
An introverted nerd/dork who's interested in ideas and down to own multiple cats.
Might as well message him.